oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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