So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
