are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
