that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize
