my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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