When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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