is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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