I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
