I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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