Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize