I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
She bit a glass in half.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I didn't notice because vodka
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
