His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize