dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
