I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I forget how to act sober
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
