I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
