Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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