I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
