someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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