We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
