all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
