no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
