How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
