No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
