This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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