better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
You peed on a flamingo?!?
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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