real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
