Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
