My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
