A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
