I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
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