I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
What changed your mind?
Being sober
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
