So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize