i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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