Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize