I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Randomize
