Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
