so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
