try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
