Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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