Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
