In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
