I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
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