i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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