If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize