here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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