what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
