: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize