Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
