You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
