The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
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