the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Randomize
