Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
