I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I just found puke in my bra..
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
