I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
