Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
