ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
