dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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