nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
