butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
