I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize