he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Actions speak louder than pants.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Randomize
