Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize