If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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