He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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