hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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