pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Randomize
